I need you more than I ever thought...

That I could need someone else.

No matter how hard I try to claim that im not, I really am my Fathers son. The last couple days have fucking torn me up inside, and brought me from highest to lowest ebb. I cant take this shit anymore. I cant even ask for answers anymore, because I know what they'll all be. I cant stand the thoughts that are going through my mind right now. Every single fucking outcome possible, and all of them end up the same.


These white walls arent canvas anymore
But a bleak reminder of how its all ill ever be
Empty like the cavernous home that surrounds me.
I cant help but think of every single possible outcome
From this series of my worst mistakes
A family portrait with a different face.
For once I thought id got it right
The nights I screamed that I wanted someone to remember
Were now nights I screamed for someone I cant forget.
And all im left with is my stereo telling me
That Life is Hard Enough as it is
Without walking away from what you love
But knowing you could be forever
And not being able to achieve it
Despite all the promises we made
And everything ive done
drives me to be my Fathers Son.



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.